High School Never Ends

"High school never ends." - Everybody

I'm wondering why this axiom seems to resurface consistently.  High school never ends.  I've heard people apply it to work, family reunions, and even grocery shopping.  I intend to dig out what this means exactly, this zombie phrase, so that we may exhume it's undead corpse in the light of day and ensure it is thoroughly killed before we bury it for good.

You might ask why I seek to dig for meaning in this phrase only to destroy it.  This phrase is simply annoying.  It has a backward-looking feel, and reeks of whining.  Oh woe, woe is me, for high school, it never ends.  Get over it.  We are at your shack, whining, and our pitchforks and torches ache to root you out.

No more whining!  No more whining!  No more whining!

I assume "High school never ends" roughly means "In my observation people are selfish; they hold grudges, work hard to avoid working, and pry into one-another's affairs."  Probably all true.  But the zombie has a weakness here.  Notice the context.  You are saying the phrase.  You are asserting all of the above.

YOU are casting judgment on others, holding grudges, prying, et cetera et cetera et cetera.  You're starting to sound zombie-ish.  If you are sharpening your shank to hunt down the high-schooler, perhaps it is you who need a good shanking.

How much energy are you wasting by being preoccupied with how others comport themselves?  If you think about this question for more than one second, you are likely wasting too much time.

It is enough to let it drop.  Get on with your life.  Don't waste time lamenting, "High school never ends."  Instead, try the phrase, "Why haven't I graduated to real life?"  Looks like you'll have to pitchfork yourself.  Look to your left, now to your right.  At the end of this essay, both of those people need to grow up.

The end.

Megalomania Oscillations

On a grand scale, I find myself alternating between one of two energy states.  For those of you who appreciate chemistry, you might call these my orbitals.

When I'm at my best, my energy state is fairly energetic (read: unstable).  It usually follows a night of staring at the ceiling thinking, "There's got to be more to my life than this.  I was meant to do something great during my time on Earth."  I peak somewhere in the f-orbital, when my mind is excited.

f-orbital. Eff yeah.

As you chemists know, high-energy states are when chemical bonds are easier to form.  At this point, I forge new relationships, accumulate new knowledge or skills, and start new projects.  This is megalomania.  I believe I can do anything.  I pick a project and throw my entire being into that endeavor.  I forget to eat.  I stop grooming myself.

But like any high-energy state, it cannot last.  Soon I encounter a difficulty I hadn't anticipated, I simply run out of energy, or I get stuck in traffic.  This is when I abandon my f-orbital, and crash into inertia.  I become an inert gas.

Helium - The Loser Molecule

Being an inert gas is depression, a.k.a. the opposite of megalomania.  I disregard potential projects.  I let people float by without making any effort to connect.  I stare out of windows looking bored.  This is the point at which I think, "This world is garbage.  I don't have a snowball-in-hell's chance of changing a single thing."

Here's where I need to step back and think, "What would Karl do?"

You see, Karl is never an inert gas, and never a megalomaniac.  Karl just is.  Karl follows what Buddha called "the middle way."  No striving.  No clinging.

Nothing to cling to.  No one to cling.

As has been established, Karl is grooving on the Universe as it is, without the impulse to change a single goddamn thing.  Karl is too busy enjoying the dance to think about whether he likes the song.  So next time you think, "I really ought to do something," take a moment to reflect.  Is this what Karl would do?

What it means to be Karl

Good question, front-row student.  For those of you who missed it, the question was, "What's a Karl?"

I could take the easy road and answer that Karl is me.  But friends, Karl is so much more.  Karl is a method.  Karl is a path.  Karl is a way of engaging with the Universe.  To be Karl is to be hip the groovy jazz going down inside you and all around you, and to add your own melody to the mix.  To be Karl is to move the mountain by feeling viscerally the impermanence of all causes.  To be Karl is to flash some sweet, sweet love to the whole bleeding show.

So that's me.  Karl.  Come here, Universe.  I got some groovy love for you.

Oh, and it's my middle name, by the way.  That's the short version, if you were interested.